Forgiveness and acceptance
are two things that need to go hand-in-hand and in essence shouldn’t be as
difficult as we make it. But we do. Why? What is that block that prevents
people from forgiving and accepting? It is liberating to do that – let go and
accept things as they are but we fight it – I’m not sure if it’s a principle
that holds us back or pride? This sense of we are entitled to feel angry or
hurt and therefore we are not giving in to letting that entitlement go. Release
your souls of that if you can. It’s difficult, it’s challenging, I know and it’s
something that’s still a work in progress for myself but I have learned the
last few years, it really does feel better to let go and truly I believe that
things eventually fall into place when you do.
It's SO hard sometimes to accept certain things. I have felt that sometimes the forgiveness just seems to come with the acceptance...not two separate things, somehow combined into one. I have also found it's a process, not one moment where I say I accept or I forgive...but over time as I work through the pain something has caused me, as I transform it and it changes me, there comes a day when I know I have accepted it and I no longer carry it like a burden. I have learned not to rush myself, to be gentle with myself and trust that the day will come when it is no longer something that has power over me.
ReplyDeleteSuzy, you said that perfectly - it does take time and must better to be gentle with yourself and not rush. Trust me, I wrote that knowing full well I haven't reached that for certain circumstances in my life - even having an abusive ex-boyfriend, for example....hard to forgive and let go of that anger when he was so hurtful to me and others. I accepted he came into my life and all that happened and have been able to move on and forward from it but it took years. Does this mean I forgave him because I accepted it? I hope so but it must be a process because it happened very slowly and eventually. The day WILL come that your pain won't have power of you - I know it. xoxo
ReplyDeleteBoy, can I understand what you wrote here! Sometimes, I am not sure about the forgiveness part, even when I feel at least some acceptance. I am sorry you suffered in an abusive relationship Debbie, it is *very* hard to forgive and let go of that anger and I think it's right that we feel that anger...it is righteous anger when we are angry about a wrong, and abuse is wrong. For our own sakes, over time, it's good to be able to work through the anger, and the loss, until we can let it go and move on from it. I sometimes wonder if forgiveness is as much for me, if not more, as it is for the other person. There are certainly times when our forgiveness (or even lack of it) has no affect on the other person at all, but it sure has an affect on us. Regardless of how long it takes me, or how confused I feel about it, I hold on to my intention to forgive, and the belief that in the fullness of time it is so, even if I can't see or feel it now. Thank you Debbie, for sure the day will come when my grief and pain will no longer have power over me, I know it too. :)
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