Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Away From Me - December 8, 2012




Written December 8, 2012

I forget how good it feels to feel nothing sometimes. Hearing a particular song that I’ve dodged for years and then hearing it by mistake and not feeling that emotion is like a snap – a GREAT snap and a great feeling. I even love that it came upon me unexpectedly.

I quote one of my favorite singers, whose songs, voice, lyrics resonate emotionally with me, Ray LaMontagne… “Gone Away From Me”:

“Yesterday is gone, Yesterday is dead
Get it through your head and walk away, Yesterday is gone
Ain't no use hanging on to [his] memory, It only causes you pain

“….For a while I cried and tried not to make a scene…But life is long, my love has gone away from me, Gone away from me…”

Life, actually, is short but the sentiment is the same as the song implies. It’s long in that the past is where it is and there is life to live before us but as I’ve learned, life is too short to get hung up on the past and not move beyond it. It can be a longer process than one may desire but it doesn’t matter when it happens, just that it happens.

Is there a scar? Yes. But as I look at the scar where my port was on my chest, I look at it as a mark of strength. A time of struggle that I got through; and the scar where my heart broke is another internal mark that only indicates that there is healing – from Dictionary.com:

scar

1 [skahr] Show IPA noun, verb, scarred, scar·ring.
noun
1.
a mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn.

“Healed” – that’s the key word. We all have them but let’s wear them as a badge of courage rather than a reminder of pain.

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