FaceBreak Days 2 - 4

(See previous post for beginning of this "series"!)

 

Facebook Break Day 2 – Oddly Enlightening

I start every morning logging onto Facebook and my regular e-mail and scrolling through the News Feed – before I even get out of bed. This morning, after reading my e-mail, it felt almost strange to not linger in bed catching up on my friends’ activities!

Today I learned how much time I actually do spend on Facebook (and we’re talking the jobless Debbie right now – when I’m working, of course, that’s a different scale of measurement) because I found myself with extra time! It’s enlightening and a bit disturbing at the same time. So how did I spend that time? Well, since I am in need of freelance or part-time work, I decided to spend that social networking time on LinkedIn – something a bit more productive. I also cleaned out another e-mail account that had accumulated way too many e-mails about sales and so forth – that’s the e-mail address I give for retail, etc. I spent time knitting and due to some sudden pain in my low back, I took it easy. To my surprise, I did not miss Facebook at all and in fact, I felt a bit liberated. This could sound silly but honestly when I think about how I lost sleep the other night over a foolish Facebook-related thing, I realize that was a huge wake-up call for me. When something takes THAT much control of your emotions, that’s a sign to step back and do something about it. I’m glad I did and I think I’m going to make this a regular thing. I don’t want to be ensnared by this site – ah, perhaps that word is too dramatic so let’s say I don’t need for Facebook to suck my emotions and energy on a daily basis. After my little experimental break this week, I’m going to regularly scale down.

Facebook Break Day 3 – Withdrawals Begin

I wish I felt like yesterday but strangely today after logging in to FB solely to send a birthday wish to someone, I found it difficult to sign off after catching a glimpse of a few status posts. In that glimpse I caught two posts that warranted a “like” just to support those friends. I mean, really, that’s one of the GOOD things about Facebook so I don’t feel I betrayed my break by doing that. However, when I signed off, I felt anxious. It really is like a dumb addiction and it’s like I got a taste of it and wanted more. So ridiculous. I’m embarrassed to even be writing this but I am one that believes self-awareness is the first step in correcting negative behavior or behavior we simply want to change.

As I mentioned in the initial blog post about this, I was reluctant to miss the posts on the Lymphoma page but I discovered today that I can access that page without actually logging into Facebook as that page is a public one so in essence that just makes it like any other web page. No little red flag of notifications, no temptation to scroll through the News Feed, and though I can’t write any notes of advice or support, I can at least just see the articles or uplifting notes that are shared and really with my PET CT scan next week and the anxiety building toward that, I need that page.

So other than the aforementioned, what was my Facebook-less Day 3 like today? Well, I had physical therapy but today it was just to address this strange low back ache I’ve been experiencing – again with fears of it being lymph node-related. My therapist alleviated those fears a bit with some of her tests but unfortunately that thought is always in the back of the mind. I wonder when that will finally stop or at least taper down…or will it ever?

I’ve also been spending my time watching “Nurse Jackie” on Showtime. I’ve always wanted to check out that show but never took the time and yay – all the seasons are On Demand! So I started Season 1, which began in 2009, a couple nights ago and now am so hooked, I’ve been watching several episodes a night. I’m already nearly finished with Season 1 and I’m wondering if I’ll be all caught up to the present by the time this Facebook experiment is done!

Facebook Break Day 4 – I’m Fine

I am fine – no biggie. No anxiety or withdrawals – went on today to wish two friends Happy Birthday and signed off. I don’t know what yesterday was about but I’m halfway through this break and today wasn’t really missing it.

I also want to do what that original Full Moon in Leo article said – about “getting the creative juices flowing.” Writing this little blog is one way just because it gets me writing. I also am spending time knitting this hat and today I turned what was supposed to be a crocheted hat into a little bag! LOL I have to laugh – I had attempted to follow a YouTube instructional video on how to crochet a hat and I thought I followed the instructions correctly but at some point I realized that hat could only fit a little head and because once crocheted, the “hat” really wasn’t soft or comfy but rather on the tough side, I decided not to make it a children’s hat. I’m nearly done with this bag and will post a pic next time.

So that’s it – knitting, sewing, finished Season 1 of “Nurse Jackie” and began Season 2, updated my resume and LinkedIn profile and looked for some leads.

Thanks for indulging me in these silly posts!